Just Wednesday!!

Today is just Wednesday... I'm at work! Wishing I was not! Wishing I was spending time with family that's in town... or shopping... or playing with my dog! haha. Speaking of Wynsten, I have to take him to the vet today. I'm not very excited about that. He has to have like 5 shots. I can't imagine how he is going to take it. The first time I took him in was a success, even though he only got one shot, so hopefully it will be painless this time as well!
I'm really excited about the New Years coming up! Me and Mitch are going to Perfect North Resort with his kids. We're going snow tubing!!! I'm so excited!!! (and also sad I will miss the gag gift party at my gmas =( Someone will have to wait till next year to get "The Boot"... Sorry Aunt Darlene! haha) I've never been before. We're going out tonight to buy kewl snow clothes! I'm debating what to do with Wynsten.... it cost $150.00 to bring him! Which I think is REE-DIC-U-LUS!!!
I'm kind of glad all the holiday craziness is coming to an end. I'm really excited about the New Year. New start! New ideas! New goals! What are some of your goals?! What do you want to do with your life this year??
Hope you all have a great week and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Merry Christmas

Well I know this is late and you can thank Comcast for that, Seems they cant seem to keep the internet up and running.

I do hope that everyone had a great Christmas. It seems each year it becomes more of a holiday for more and more presents. It becomes who has the best or who has the most. I think one of the best things that happened was the colapse of the economy. It then put christmas back into what its really ment to be, Of course thats in my opinion.

For me christmas is all about spending time with family, whether or not there are gifts is just a side bonus. Also its about the Birth of the baby, who later became man and through his death , Ive had the chance to have my sins forgiven, even when I did nothing to recieve, which to me is the best Christmas gift of all.


So I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and just think next week it will be 2011 !

Charlie

Craziness!!!!

So I just realized I haven't actually posted anything for like 3 weeks! Oops! I've been so busy! Like last night.... I thought I would be organized and write everything down that I needed to get done... only to end up reviewing my list at 2am and seeing not even half of list crossed off!!! haha! Nooooo! Only 2 days left till Christmas!?! Can you believe it!? That's crazy! Where did this year go!?
I'm so tired today! I went to bed so late... and then got woke up THREE times through out the night, by Wynsten.... b/c he NEEDED a "dreeeenk" and to go outside!!!! AHH!! It took me at least an hour to actually get out of bed today.... seriously. 5 mins late to work... and here I am... blogging haha!
I am teaching my dog new tricks every day! He knows how to high five! And now he knows how to ring a bell when he needs to go outside. For any new dog owners, try it!! It's a great thing to teach puppies! Saves a lot of stress for yourself and the puppy!
Tonight Me, Nan and Wynsten (and maybe Jake) are going to get our pictures taken with Santa!!! I'm excited!!! Maybe Dad too! I wish we could all go! haha. Don't think they would know what to do with ALL of us.... and pet night is over... soo.... yah, good thing I know every one that works there! Whoot whoot!
Well I can't wait to see everyone for Christmas and see all the gifts we all get! And eat yummy food!

It's Never Easy

Well as the title states, it's never easy.... I don't even know what to type really tonight. I made one of the hardest decisions Ive had to make recently. That was to end a friendship. I don't know if she will read this or not, she has already took me off of everything we used to chat through.

My heart will always have a spot for her. Was it the best choice? More then likely, was it the hardest choice? absolutely. I know she loved me. I also knew That things wouldn't end up how i wanted them to end up. I knew this from the beginning of our conversations, but i went with my heart, because she loved me. I haven't had someone love me since Someca passed away a little over 2 years ago. Ive felt empty inside. I hadn't felt alive since then until you came around. You changed things for me, you gave me hope, that maybe i was lovable. Maybe someone out there would take a chance with me. I'm Sorry the way things ended and do know i did care a lot about you and thought about you a lot. I hope that life treats you well and that you find what you are searching for, whatever it may be. I will miss you!

In light of that, I don't even know how I got here. All i want is to be loved. It cant be that hard for someone to love me is it? Yeah, my family loves me, but they are suppose to love me. Yeah I act like i have it all together but really i don't. I havent had it together for over 2 years. I dont know why I cant find love. I don't know if its me or them? Probably a bit of both. Seems I'm always in the friend catagory, which isn't always bad, but no one seems to want more then that with me. Sure i have some baggage but who doesn't?

Everything I do i give it 100%, whether it be Coaching Basketball, Teaching basketball, being a friend and sometimes even "Superman" to some. I dont get what I'm missing or what makes it so hard to be loved.

Sure I had someone who loved me for me and i felt on top of the World. Someone who didn't care where i came from or what i had done. She loved me because i was Charlie Miller. As i try to type this with tears running down my face, i have to wonder, what have i done God to feel so unlovable?

Why did i lose my vision just to feel loved? Id give anything right now to feel loved. To know what it is to feel wanted again....To be able to hear someone say that they love me , Love Charlie Miller and not because i did anything, but because i was/ am Me.

My heart is in a million pieces because if i could have anything, it would be that and that's something i cant get or have. I am / was so desperate to have someone say that they loved me that i went against everything i stood for and yet here i am , searching, trying to figure out why i cant be loved.

For some of you, I'm sure your like this cant be the guy we know. Well it is at this time. I can only hide behind the mask for so long but you look into the mask and see the tears as my heart breaks each time i think i have found love, only to have found nothing or to be added to the friends list. Yeah i know everyone needs a friend like me, so I've been told , every time it seems that's all people want.

There's a saying I say and its " Fake it til you make it" , well I've faked it for awhile, I don't like people knowing the person who's inside who's crying to be loved, That's never been me, I;m always the one who has been the strong one, the one you call for anything, no matter the time or no matter the problem. Well I guess you can only fake it so long before you completely fall apart.

I'm at that point. I haven't cried this much in the last 2 weeks since Someca died. Sure it doesn't help that its the holiday seasons and the memories come back, But it's not that. Ive been able to handle that , but its been the broken heart, the fact that I can't see to find someone who loves me for me. Ugh i hate crying, cant even see now and my hoodie is covered in snot in tears.

Before you, the readers, tell me , well God has a plan for you and God is going to use you in great ways..etc...etc ....etc, This i know, I've been told this my entire life and well i still haven't seen it yet. Ive had many chats/fights/arguments with God these past 2 years. I know he hasn't given up on me , but i know Ive given up on myself. I'm Glad God is patient with me cause If he hasn't given up on me, then I know I can't give up on me. Im also glad that when i do yell and scream at him he doesn't take it personal. I know he listens to me and still loves me when im done.

Well enough talking about my life for now and plus i cant see the keys very well since i had to take my glasses off. I'll leave you with a song that sums up toda. Looking back I know it's for the better but that doesnt mean my heart will heal any faster.



Sorry this has been a sad few weeks reading my blog, but its whats going on inside and I needed somewhere to vent, cry, write and express how im feeling.

Charlie

This is Debby, The Mother of the 6

Sons (and daughters) are a heritage from the Lord,

children a reward from him.

I have always felt blessed by God. You, each one, have surpassed my expectations. You are God -fearing , courageous, generous, forgiving ( and I am thankful for this fact!) insightful, inspirational, hard working, committed. I have truly been blessed! This time of year causes me to reflect on the past, we've come a long way, ten years to be exact Ten years.......I close my eyes and I am standing in the living room with Eric and Blake fixing Barney for them, I can smell the Christmas tree and the sweet smell of fudge, the sun is shining . . . . there's a knock at the door. You all know the pain that followed when I opened that door. Here we are ten years from then, together, the sun is shining the air is fridged, but our hearts are warm we have each other we are strong we have a grand future. Will there be heart ache, loss, suffering, and pain again? The answer is yes but we have each other and most important we belong to God who stands with us through all things. It has been tough , but today I want you all to know how sorry I am for the mistakes I made and to remember just how proud I am of all of you. Each one of you make me proud.Each one of you feels my heart with joy. I can hardly wait for everyone to be here for CHRISTMAS........ where we will laugh, talk, eat , and add to the heart of our family new memories. I love you..........

Mom

YAY for a good Monday!

Hello Gang!
After staying up super late last night with Owen and Holly, I had a surprisingly good day! I woke up too early for worship, but I was unaware that it was early, so I went and just wrote in my prayer journal and talked to David! (a guy on staff here as well) It was a great way to start the day.

So, it is official, I am moving HOME this week =D!! Most of you know that I have had a really rough time since coming back here. When my parents dropped me off, I started sobbing the night before they even left, uhh...I think that shouldve been a rather large clue! But anyways, yes, I have had a rough time with things here. Holly and Amanda have been a HUGE blessing and comfort to me throughout this time! God couldn't have given me 2 better friends to help me through! They both have been through hard times as well, so us 3 have stayed pretty darn close. Owen has been such a good friend to me too! I know Holly and Amanda both appreciate him as well. I know God had a purpose for me coming here, even if it was just to get through the hard times and learn how to deal with them in the future! I have to say, I have NO CLUE how people get through rough times without God.

God has been ever so faithful to me while I've been here! He brought so much comfort when people brought the pain. He overwhelmed me with His grace when I thought I wouldn't last one more hour. He provided me with the finances that I never thought I would get. He allowed me to spend time with friends that I wouldn't have had without coming here. When all chaos hit down here, He brought me into a place of divine peace! Thank You, God, for everything You have done for me!!

When I do get home, I would love to start working with kids in after school care programs or things of such nature =p. I would also LOVE to work with young teenage girls! I know how important it was for me to have that older female mentoring me when I was going through that stage of finding out who I was! I am so excited for the things that God has for me to do at home! I also feel called to go overseas for a time. I have no idea exactly when, but I think I'll get more clarity on that when I get home. I've been in contact with people in England and Scotland, so we shall see where God places me! Living a life for God is so much more fun and adventurous than the "normal" life! So what if I don't want to go to school?! I'd rather have God use me to change lives than to have a degree and a regular job the rest of my life =D God gives me so much peace and excitement about what He has just for me! The only thing I struggle with is being patient enough to wait for it to all unfold!

I challenge you guys to really ask God to reveal Himself to you in a new way each day! You will be amazed at the things He will use to get your attention on Him! It's so exciting, it makes each day full of anticipation. Also, recognize the things that you have for what they are, blessings from God. We don't deserve to have comfort, or even a house, God has chosen to give us those things. Thank God for even the small crazy things, you'll be in awe of how much your life changes just by learning to give thanks for EVERY thing you have =] I hope you all have a wonderful week!!

--Hann

**Also, please be praying for finances, I need around $500 in the next 5 days! Yeaaaaaah! Let's do it!!!**

What are you doing?

Well I know this is a little early for my Blog, but I have nothing else better to do right now then to blog. This week's topic is one that many people don't like to talk about it. That is Death. Death is something that will happen to all of us, as a matter of fact I think there are only 2 places in the bible where people didn't die, but just walked up to heaven. Wouldn't that be a wild ride.

Just walking down the street and next thing you know your a foot above the ground, then 2 feet and so on and so forth until you get to the pearly gate. What an experience that would be.

So this week I gave my LAS 189 presentation and I did that on the Movie " The Bucket List". If you haven't seen it, i would say its a funny movie. Yes it deals with cancer and so if you know someone or are close to someone who has cancer I wouldn't suggest seeing it. I had just recently seen it and it had been out since 2007. It's amazing how many movies have cancer in them. It's something i never paid attention too, until cancer directly effected me. Back to the movie, Well these 2 guys find out they are terminal cancer and thus create a bucket list.

A "bucket list" is a list of things that you wanna do before you " kick the bucket" After challenging my class to live for today and not tomorrow, for all we know is that we have today and that tomorrow isn't promised to us, I got to thinking about my own bucket list. I realized I really didn't have one. there isn't anything right now that I can think of that if i was on my death bed, i would say, man i wish i would of done that. Sure there are things that I would like to do, but nothing that just says " man if i don't do this, i'll be so mad."

So here is my attempt at a Bucket list.

1)I would like to be Able to get married and to Raise a Family
2) take a cruise
3) Coach a basketball team to the State Championship game
4)Make a difference in someone's life who other wise wouldn't of had the chance
5)Make a video game or have input into one
6)Travel the World, along with that go to Europe and backpack for a month or 2
7) Go back to Veneszula, One of the greatest times in my life was being there for a month.

Well that is it for now, i guess if i am granted the life i hope i get to live i will be able to add to this list.

I was going to add a clip so you all could watch, but for some reason they have disabled the embeded code.

Lastly, What is on your Bucket list?



Charlie

Christmas Blues anyone?!

It's "Hump Day" so it's my turn to blog! Yaaah! (attempting to rejoice! haha) I agree by the way, it's hard to really remember what your focus is during this crazy time of year (well for me anyway). I'm high strung and I *hate hate hate* that! (I really need to seek out a book about that and how people have resolved some of that). I get so caught up in getting everything that needs done and all the presents and making all the plans with families and saving money and....get really stressed and wrapped up in that! Sound like me?! haha.
This year I am really trying to come up with a plan... with an idea to get rid of the "Christmas Blues". Me?? With the blues?? I know... It's sad to say I'd even get such a thing! We have had such awesome Christmases through out my whole child hood years. I can't remember ever being so excited about the same thing *every year* for so many years! Even my birthday wasn't quite as exciting to me, b/c I was the only one opening presents. I like it when other people share in my excitement!
A few years ago started off a strand of bad Christmases for me. I don't want to spend too much time writing about those events; I don't want to dwell on them, but they range from a death in the family to DCFS to other personal things that took place in my life. All those things combined have really almost stole my childhood memories/excitement from me. I realize that everything that has happened is a part of the past, but it's really hard for me, come December 1st, to "be excited".
This year I want to do SOMETHING to help me get past the past, get rid of my Christmas Blues and relive my childhood excitement for Christmas! If anyone has any ideas/thoughts... or even prayers, they're all welcomed!
On another note, this week has already been crazy! Random updates in my life!:
1.Taco Bell drive thru accident: I was awarded the money for the damage done to my car (which works out *perfect* because you can hardly tell anyone hit my car, but yet it cost over 1,000 yaaah!) and more is to come....!
2. I got 2 angel trees! I have a boy and a girl. I'm kind of excited about that!
3. Me and Mitch are going to one of our married friend's houses to plan our trip to Mexico tonight! I think that's exactly what I need.... To plan something FUN to look forward to after Christmas time to get me through the next few weeks! Even though I have been to Mexico before this is going to be an awesome trip!!! Last time I was there, I went to Caba San Lucas. I think we're going to Cancun this time! I love to travel!
4. Ashley still hasn't gotten back to me about what she wants for Christmas, and I've been asking for like 3 weeks!!!! (mhmmm!!!)
5. Why are there so many stupid Christmas songs out?? (ie- "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas". Really?!?)
6. We are planning pictures with Santa on the 19th!!! (when Han comes home, anyone who wants to join, PLEASE DO!!! )
7. I need some new rain boots!!! I went to Target and ended up leaving with 3 pairs of *really cute* boots (b/c someone bought them online and returned them in the store, I got them for $10, yessss!), but now I still need rain boots!
8. We're going to Chicago this weekend to get away and do some Christmas shopping! Yah! Maybe some ice-skating and to see "Black Swan". (has anyone seen that? Is it good??)

That's about all the updates! I think some people that have slacked on blogging need to catch us up on their lives!!!
Have a great week!!!!

Rejoice

The word rejoice can be found a lot this time of year.

"Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel. Shall come to the O Israel"

But, I've been challenged by the book Crazy Love to look at rejoicing a different way. The following an exerpt from Francis Chan's book.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I say again, Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:4) You'll notice it doesn't end with "... unless you're doing something extremely important". No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge "Do not be anxious about anything" (v. 6).

Can you name the last time, outside of a worship service, that you really truly rejoiced? It's hard for me to name a time lately, other than Chaney's birth. And that's troubling to me. "Rejoice in the Lord always", to me means that it's an action that never ceases. . . hence the term "always". I've failed there. . . often.

I guess, I am using this blog post to challenge myself. To always rejoice.

Give glory to God in the highest, and peace to His people on earth.

I hope everyone has a great week.

Busy Weekend

Well I guess this blog will be about random stuff. Its been a busy weekend with 2 basketball games this weekend. Makes for a long/short weekend. You sleep and then you play ball, next thing you know its Monday morning.

Our Team won both games and we are slowly headed in the right direction. We still have alot to work on, some simple and some things will just have to come in time, I hope. I have high expectations for this team, but all i can do is coach them and they have to execute the game plan. Hopefully we will be well rested for next week as we play on Tuesday and Thursday. I'll leave you with one of my fav movie clips once again.



Also here is another one of my fav clips from another basketball movie






To me this says everything about TEAM

Have a great week everyone!

Charlie

Elf Yourself :)

SO... in light of the holidays.... and because I'm a huge dork... I elfed my kids :) Enjoy!

24 more days!

It's not only Hump Day today, but it's also December 1st! I can't believe it! 24 more days until Christmas and 30 more days until 2010 is over! Which also means that I will only have 10 more months until I am 30 and have to have my book done! Whew, that's a lot to accomplish! Oh yah, and I forgot school! I would really like to be done with that as well! Better get a move on it! I need someone to write me letters/text every few days telling me to do my home work and keep writing! Haha, any volunteers?!
So I've been really bad at this blogging thing, even though I really enjoy it! Looks like I'm not the only one!!! =) I promise to get better!! I can feel the craziness of the holidays coming on! I bought my FIRST Christmas present yesterday! I could resist. It was 200 off! SO I only spent 100! And I got a really neat travel bag with it! I can't wait to go buy really neat wrapping paper. I think wrapping presents in funky ways is one of my favorite things about Christmas.
Well, I need to close this for now.... lots of work to do! What time are we actually doing Christmas this year??

katie

To My Mom

Well I have been debating on what to talk about this week. This is always a hard time of year, especially if you have lost someone. I also wanted to be positive or atleast some what because it is around thanksgiving time and also my mom's birthday. So, I have decided to dedicate this Blog to her.

Well today it just so happens to be my mom's birthday. There is no need to tell of her age, just know that today is her day. My mom is very special to me and is important to all of us. When i say US, i do mean her 6 kids, but i also mean that for anyone she has come into contact with. My mom has the soul of an angel and she is not only a great mom and grand mother to my nephew and niece but she is also a great friend. I never knew that was always the case. When you grow up you always think that when you turn 18 you will move out and live your life, coming back home for the holidays and such. Well that didnt happen for me anyways, but My mom has always welcomed any of us home. There were times i didnt get why she was so nice to so many people. People i didnt always want around but she always said, thats not up to you, God told me to do and so you can talk to him. Guess you cant really argue with that statement.

It is also a testament to my mom that the kids she used to babysit, still come around now. They now can drive and still wanna spend their friday and saturday night's at the Miller's house. I never knew how popular our house was until they show up and stay here. I guess if you could have all the laughs and good food you could handle, i'd wanna be there too.

She has been an example to younger women/mom's , probably more then she even realizes. She speaks with boldness yet with kindness at the same time. There have been phone calls made to her with crying people on the other line and she calms them and gets them back on track. She has a heart of Gold and I know that someday when she gets to heaven there is going to be a special place for her there.

It amazes me how she doesnt really care about earthly things. She understands that we are just passing thru and if she can spend that money or give something to someone else she will. I cant even count how many people have stayed at our house because they needed a place to go. It is countless and it always seem to be the men who end up here because they have screwed up at home. She doesnt "put them on point" but do know if you come here because you have done something wrong, you will get to hear about it from her.

It is also funny kinda because it seems when those who are doing wrong, know they are, they tend to avoid her LOL Its just funny to me that some are scared of " momma miller". I must say thougth that once they do come and talk to her, they know that they truely do have a great friend and also someone who will pray for them each and everyday, regardless of the situation.

My mom has taught me so much in my life that I dont even know where to begin. I can thank her for teaching me how to talk/listen to both males and females. It has come in handy alot in my life and sometimes i think it is a curse because of it but i also know that someday when i do fine my soul mate, she will be very thankful that my mom took the time to teach me and to also make me read books on relationships/money/kids etc. It is kinda funny that even now my friends will ask me about certain situations because they know that my mom has taught me and if i dont know the answer , she will know.

I know i could go on and on and on about my Mom. Those of you who do know her know what a blessing she is to me and my siblings, but also to each and every one who has come into contact with her. So I want to say Thank you Mom, for always being you and always teaching us the importance of knowing God and showing us through your actions, how we can be Jesus to people who may never have that chance to have anyone else show them who Jesus is.





So to you mom, you know we all love you and like this song says, all you have to do is call ;

Charlie, Katie, Ashley, Johnny, Hannah and Eric and we will be there! Thanks again For not only being my mom, but Our mom!




Now onto a totally different topic, This week i had to make a tough decsion, One that was probably the right decsion, but man it sure doesnt feel like the right descion. I know that the bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 :

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

But some how my heart just hurts more and more. ...Ugh my life....

I know that you are reading this and Do know that i will always care about you and just like the Song i posted earlier, all you have to do is call my name and I'll be there for you. MK



Well hopefully next week will be a great Week. BTW my bball team is 2-2 and we have 3 games next week! Hopefully this will be a great week and we will end up 5-2 by weeks end

Charlie

Thanksgiving!!

It's Thanksgiving!!! (for anyone living under a rock...) I love Thanksgiving....everyone getting together...being thankful.... gorging on delicious food....taking great naps... and football of course ( I better write quick before it changes, but the Lions are actually winning!:P)

So, since it's Thanksgiving, I will be extremely original and make a list of things I'm thankful for.... b/c I know you all are wondering :P 

1. God, of course, who is ever-patient with me, and ever-loving despite the fact I don't deserve it.

2. My family...whether we are related by blood, choice or marriage...I love what each of them brings to my life. I love all of the laughs we've had...the nights we've sat around the kitchen or livingroom @ Mom and Dad's...

     2a. Dave...who I am especially grateful for b/c he has to put up with me the most, and does it so graciously :)

     2b. My kids... who remind me what an honor and responsibility it is to raise children to be great, and who also remind me not to take myself too seriously :) And at the same time remind me how little control I actually have over life.

3. My friends...(which I am lucky enough to say also includes my siblings...) the old ones, the new ones, the ones who text me when I'm lazing about keeping in touch, the ones who commiserate with me over similar stupid things we did as teenagers, the ones who stay up late and chat when I can't sleep and don't want to get any work done...the ones who are up early when I'm ready to pull my hair out by 8:30am :)...the list is endless! And I'm thankful for each one and the place they have in my life.

4. A garage...after living in apartments for almost 5 years, I am *so* thankful that I don't have to try to rush two kids through the cold rain to get into the car...and I can't wait to not have to scrape ice off of the car (who am I kidding? I think I've scraped ice off a car once in my life... another reason I am thankful for my dad and husband!! I am totally the person who will sit in the car until the defrost clears the windows...I don't like being cold, what can I say?)

5. A house!!! I still look around at my house, and am amazed that it's mine (and Dave's, too :P) I remember telling Dave he had a month to find the perfect house that we didn't have to fix, b/c I didn't want to have to move into a fixer-upper being 8 mo. pregnant. First house we went into was *the* house, and 2 months later, we got the keys to the perfect house for us! :)

6. Craig Ferguson and the Secretariat dance...esp. when it includes Tom Selleck.
Skip to 2:45...hilarious!


I realize my list is becoming a novel... so I will try to condense the rest :P

7. Good books... :)

8. Computers & Cell phones

9. My church and the people I've met there

10. Exclamation Points & Emoticons

11. Making popcorn & watching movies with Dave

12. Staying up late!

13. COFFEE!!! ( I have totally become one of *those* people...sad, I know...as is my dependency.)

14. The rare mornings I wake up before my kids and the house is quiet

15. naptime :)

16. Memories that make me smile

17. Triple Creme Brie (to die for!)

18. fuzzy socks

19. Snow!! (until the day after Christmas...) and summertime :)

20. The fact that I live in a country where I don't have to agree with everyone (or anyone, for that matter), and I can worship Who I want in whatever manner I want.

Phew! Done :) So what are you thankful for?

I hope everyone has an awesome day with lots of love and good food ( I am totally excited about the pumpkin trifle in my mother-in-law's fridge)!

Ashley

PS. Lions are no longer winning :P

Crayness

Hey Yall.
I know I was going to write about different topics, but this week has been crazy and I dont think my opinion on anything would be appreciated right now!
I went home last week to get a wisdom tooth taken out, and just to hang out and see my family. I had an amazing time and already miss my friends and family very much! God spoke to me a lot about my future while I was home. I'm learning to rely on Him to provide me the comfort I need in different situations where humans can't even begin to bring comfort. How do people get through things without God? I just don't understand.
On Thursday morning during my quiet time, I was praying and just asking God to do something each week that could be a testimony for me. Friday while I was working at my Dad's work, his 2 friends came to see me and gave me $120!! I hadn't even prayed about the money I needed! Then on Sunday, while praying about how much I should give for tithe, 15 or 20, I felt God telling me it was ok to give 15, so I did. Later on, my dad gave me a $20 "just in case I'd need it". God is so good to me, even in the hard times when I don't pray about the money I need, the things I want, or the problems I'm thinking too hard about. God also used my mom to bless me with a lot of new clothes! (There are some things that I definitely needed new of.) And, I got most, if not everything, on sale!
So, needless to say, God and I had quite the week together =) Last Monday I got a wisdom tooth cut out. I was awake the whole time. Before I went in, I had prayed so hard that I wouldn't feel a thing and that I would have peace through it all. The dentist was awesome and numbed me ALOT, and even gave me extra shots just to make sure. I didn't feel any of it and he was done in 20 minutes! I was so at peace that through the whole thing I was just singing worship songs in my head. As I was praying half way through, I began to think of the dentist as using God's hands to work on my mouth. Even thinking that GOD'S hands could be doing all the work in my mouth brought such an amazing amount of peace. I even felt comforted and strangely enough, enjoyed knowing that God was really the one in charge of removing this tooth!
Being close to God is just so amazing. I can't even think of words to describe it. Knowing He cares about little ME just overwhelms me. But shouldn't we all be overwhelmed by God? None of us can even begin to comprehend His love for us! In the Bible it says that His thoughts towards each of us outnumber the grains of sand!!! How awesome is THAT?!?!
Ok, I've got to get going to bed! I hope you all have a wonderful week. Remember to look for God even in the small things, for there you could find Him the most =)

--Hann

I was watching "Prince Caspian" on TV this afternoon and whenever I watch it or the "Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" I am always left thinking about God and Heaven and spiritual warfare. Though this time I was thinking about the exemplary behavior of the youngest child, Lucy, and how it relates to my own life. Lucy is ever-faithful to Aslan even when the older and more "practical" among her have all but given up on him. She can see straight through the deceit of the White Witch and remains fiercely loyal to Aslan even though her older brother is deceived. This illustrates that once you have experienced true good it is easier to see through evil masquerading as good. But what I love the most about Lucy is how she is perfectly satisfied just to be with Aslan. If she is with Aslan life is good.

How would our lives look if we could just be satisfied to be in God's presence? Really think about that. To need absolutely no other source of fulfillment other than Jesus in our days, in our hours and in our minutes. Wow! What a thought! What a goal! The White Witch in our life that tries to inveigle us with this or with that would have no leverage over us because our only desire is Him and what He has to offer us. No hidden agendas, no ulterior motives. Just absolute obedience motivated by a child-like faith rooted in godly love. That is Christianity. That is a life lived in Jesus!

Hmm.....

Well im not really sure what im going to talk about tonight. Seems some of the other siblings either A) got busy this week, to busy to blog or B) just didnt blog..lol Either way its Saturday night and that means your stuck with me. Thats right, what a way to end the week but with me , right? LOL Well its all in good fun and as im even typing this im not sure what im going to actually write about. Sure basketball season has started and our first game is monday, Thanksgiving is also this week, Guess i could write what i am thankful for, but nothing is clicking really.

Well i think im going to talk about a friend of mine. This just isnt any ordinary friend to say the least. I met her for the first time this summer while doing basketball camps. You never think that your going to make friends while teaching the game of basketball to those who are from 5th grade up to 8th grade but i did. After the first few days and spending hours and hours in the gym shooting with her and teaching her how to shoot better, it just seems we clicked and that was that. She spent countless hours in the gym, even her mom would show up and she would still wanna stay. (To bad i cant get the Varsity bball players to stay like that )

I dont even know how many hours we spent on the court just shooting and talking life, I think looking back it was more about the talking about life that we enjoyed more so then the basketball. Basketball was just the thing that got us to that point. At that time i was even wondering why i was coaching or if i was even doing a good job.

After having her come back for 3 weeks in a row to be taught and to learn, i knew i was doing the right thing and that i was suppose to continue to coach and teach life lessons to those as well.

The reason I bring her up, she doesnt know im writing about her, thats why im not using her name, but her mom will know who i am talking about. But a day before the basketball season was to start for the girls, i found out that she wasnt going to play. My first thought was "what???" Are you kidding me??? You put all that time in and you are going to be one of the better shooters and your not going to play???.

I think we were both kinda nervous when we did get the chance to talk about why she decided not to play basketball and to do cheerleading instead. She was worried that i would be upset because of all the time we spent in the gym and what not. But i wasnt. The more we talked about it and how she just wanted something different, something for her. The more i agreed with her. She was truely doing something that she wanted to do and it was because she wanted to do it. How many freshman girls do you know that will say " no, im not gonna do this, im going to do this because i want to, not because someone else wants me to"? I cant think of any right now. She amazes me because she isnt phased by peer-pressure where as so many who are freshman, just wanna fit in and she went her own route. If only more girls her age could see that you can do whatever you want, dont fall into the traps that are set and dont think that you cant change your mind if you dont want to do something.

I know it also helps that she has amazes parents who have supported her in everything she has done. She is an amazes girl and i know that People will follow her as she gets older cause they will want what she has.

Well thats my blog for the week, to sum it up, if you dont wanna go with the flow, then dont, Be true to yourself and that will truely make you happy. Until next week i hope to tell you that my bball team is 4-0 and that we had a great thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

Ill leave you with this video for the week

Fair or not?

So ever since I read this article (it wasn't this exact one, the one I read had more detail to the actual contact in the street) I just don't know if I agree with Coach or not. I think that there should be consequences but I don't * think * he should be kicked off the team. Apparently he punched the guys because they spit on him. I understand that as a team player, especially for U of I he should be held at a higher standard and not start fights and get involved with them, but when someone spits on you??? I think I would have done the same thing... I'm sure this is going to get a lot of attention and people are going to speak out on this!

Happy Hump Day!!
(I think we're missing a few posts... mmhmm Han and Dave lol)

http://www.kmov.com/sports/college/U-of-I-football-player-suspended-after-charges-108204684.html

The back-up plan

I have been bouncing around a lot of blog topics but have not been able to write more than a paragraph about anything. With that in mind, I wonder how our faith in God would look if we got rid of all of our "plan B's" and "backup plans" just in case God doesn't show up. If a Christian is supposedly doing the work of the Lord then why should that person worry about whether or not THEY have the master plan. Well I think that either they doubt that they are doing the work of the Lord or their cognitive theology doesn't match their practical theology. In other words we know only from an intellectual standpoint that God will see us through if we are doing His will but personally we do not believe it or are just not willing to take the risk. There are a lot of technical points that could be made here but I have neither the vigor or the intelligence to meet them. I only pray that I have not spoken out of term and I encourage your thoughts on what it means to truly rely on God.

Someca Berthea

Well Today is a day i will never forget for as long as i live. Today is the day that i lost not only my best friend, my soulmate, lover , but also my fiance. 2 years ago today i lost Someca to cancer. She was more then just a woman, but a great woman.

She was an only child and the oldest of all the grandkids, which by now could be over 30. She loved God always and then family. She loved kids and so badly wanted some of her own. Ill never forget the phone call telling me that she had cancer. She was always a fighter and i knew she would beat this disease. Cancer had no shot of beating My Someca.

Ill never forget on Nov. 13th at around 3am. Someca had started to make some noises, which she hadnt for some time. People thought it was because maybe she was in pain, but it was because she was trying to talk to me. Every night that Someca was in the hospital starting back on Sept 1st of that year, we would always talk every night from about 3-4:30 am or so. It was when she would wake up asking for water and i would go out and get her fresh water, because after all , she wanted ice n her cup. I would do that and then we would just talk about life in general. Talk about what we wanted to do when she got out of the hospital and what not. Then at around 4:30 or so we would both fall back asleep until they would come in at 7 am to take her vitals. So on that Morning, she started making noises and so i of course was right beside her, she she just talked, i didnt understand what she was saying, but she knew. I wonder at times what she was saying and maybe someday ill get the chance to find out when i see her in heaven again. But she knew what she was saying and thats all that matter.

So then at around 4:15 or so is when she took her last breath. I couldnt believe she was gone. I just held her for a few mins as the reality set in that i would never be able to hold her again, never be able to tell her that i love her again, hear her laugh or hold her hand when we walked down by Old Sac and infront of the river. I took her hands and i placed them together and i kissed her good-bye and walked out of the room.

This by far was/has been the hardest day of my life. I was always raised to be strong and I was and have been for lots and lots of people , but this day was about me and i didnt know what to do or how to even cope. I still dont to this day have it figured out. I wish i did, but i dont. As i sit here crying, i think back to the happy times and i look at our pics that we had taken and we were so full of life. I want that back again, i just have to figure out how to get it back. Sure i have that on the outside, because thats who i am. Im Charlie Miller, the one who can solve anything, listens to any problem, has advice for any problem and is a happy go lucky guy. Thats on the outside. The inside is what kills me all the time. I cant get past that God has a bigger and better plan. I had it all. I had the plan. I had a woman who loved me more then anything. Loved me for who i am and not for who i was. She loved me for me and i couldnt of asked for anyone better for me.

I know that someday i will be able to use this experince to help someone else, cause thats all ive done in my life. I just hate to think that this could all happen again to me.

The next 8 days after Someca's death were pretty hard. The day she died i finally went home and went to bed. That night my mom had opened our fridge in the apartment and realised that everything was moldy, i guess that happens when u dont live there for 3 months. We ended up going to Walmart around 11 pm and i remember putting stuff in the cart that i would never eat. I was walking around walmart and aimlessly because i had no direction. i didnt know what to do or even say. The one person who i loved more then anything had been taken from and yet i was suppose to believe that this was all in God's plan. To this day i still struggle with that and still get into arguments with God over the situtation, yet i know God will always be God and he will always be right. Its just part of the process i guess.

Of course i spoke at Someca's funeral, why wouldnt i ? some people couldnt believe that i wanted to speak and yet others knew that i would have it no other way then to speak. She was my world for almost 4 yrs and for most of that we spent at doctor's appointments and the hospital. I knew i was suppose to speak, just wasnt sure if i would be able to speak for not. I cried as i closed her casket for the last time and then i couldnt stop crying. I cried through the whole service. I got up to speak and the tears stopped and i spoke, probablly the best i have ever spoke. Someca had always said that when she died, she didnt want a long sermon. she didnt want people sitting around for hours listening to someone talk about her who didnt know her. I kept it short and sweet and i know she would of been proud.

After the service we went to the graveside, where she was laid to rest by her grandma. The woman who she looked up to more then anyone. The woman who she wanted to be and Someca you were her, by far. I remember carrying her casket, because back in Jan of 2008 i told her that i was with her until the day she died and i would lay her to rest, whether that be in 1 month or in 50 yrs, she wasnt gonna get rid of me. Well as i was getting ready to pick up the casket, i didnt have any white gloves. Her uncle Aaron gave me one of his and to this day i still carry it in my bible. Me and him will forever be linked because he kept his one glove and i got mine.

She was lowered into the ground and i just sat there, still in shock that a 34 yr old woman, who had never been sick , had just been put into the ground all because of cancer. Someca was an amazing woman and ill never forgot how on one of the trips back to IL she took the time to teach my mom and sister how to crochet blankets. Because of that people now have blankets who wouldnt of had them other wise. She was such a sweet and loving spirit.

I Will miss you Someca, i know that you are in heaven with your grandma and uncle, your prolly running with the kids and talking to your grandma about all the times you had together down here. I love you more then words can say or ever say. I hope i made you proud and continue to make you pround. I know someday i will see you again and i cant wait for that day. I cant believe its been 2 years, it feels like yesterday when we first met at the Indy Airport. There isnt a day thats gone by where i dont think about it and wonder what might have been. I do thank God that i got to be apart of your life even for the short time it was. You taught me to be myself and that by being myself people will be drawn to me and love me for me. I thank you and i miss you once again Someca Berthea.

Sorry dear readers :)

Sorry, friends....
          I've been a slacker!! But this has been a crazy week, ending with a sick 5-month old (although, thankfully, her fever is gone, so I'm hoping she's on the mend!!) So I just wanted to write a quick note w/ my excuses, and promise to do better next week..... esp. since next Thursday, I will be on my way to Champaign to see HARRY POTTER!!!!!!! at midnight with the baby sister and our mother....love that tradition :) I'm already mourning the end of the Harry Potter movies....only one left after this one!!

Song of the Week........ "The Harry Potter Theme song" aka "Hedwig's Theme" haha :) Don't hate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCNHVMIYqiA

This song gives me happy chills :) (I know....totally showing my nerd colors here) The best part of seeing the HP movies at midnight is when this song starts playing, and you can *feel* the excitement go through the crowd of your equally nerdy fellow HP fans.... *sigh* I can't wait!!!!

Until next week, then....and sorry again for being such a slacker :)

Ashley

Nothing like a good book!

Normally every year, come fall, I'm really drained and almost sluggish... It's depressing too! I know it takes a little to adjust to the time/weather change, but I think my hate for really cold weather and snow adds to this sluggishness. I remember last year thinking, next year is going to be different! And it is! I can actually wake up earlier... which I hope that keeps up! I've set some goals and am working towards those and just over all happy with my life!
One of those goals is to read more. And not just read more, but read more books that will help me in some way! I use to *hate* reading. I actually didn't read one book all through high school! I would start them, or try and start them at least, and just have any interest at all, and toss it somewhere.
I have a new found love for reading. It's some how relaxing. I am currently reading 3 books! "The Love of her Life" By: Harriot Evans, "Eat Pray Love" By: Elizabeth Gilbert (the movie comes out this month on dvd! Yah!) and "The Five Love Languages" By: Gary Chapman! What a mix hu? All are very good books! "The Love of Her Life" is about a girl named Katie Miller! It's a very catchy, motivating book! "Eat Pray Love" is just amazing and makes me want to travel even more than I already do! It really has me intrigued in how other religions/beliefs pray. I have just begun "The Five Love Languages"!
"The Five Love Languages" is what I wanted to dig into a little bit in this blog. I chose this book not only because I have heard a lot about it, but also because I thought it would be a challenge for me. I'm always up for a challenge, something to make me want to change the way I am or the way I think about something. I am only on the third chapter, but I am already having a "battle" with it. It talks about how the "honeymoon" stage only last up to 2 years, and that the "in love feeling" isn't real. I really don't agree with these statements (and a few others that are tied in i.e. "One who is in love is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person"... maybe they mean "infatuated"?)). Sure, you aren't going to feel that "in love" feeling EVERY day, and WHO would be in love with some one and NOT want to be after your loves best interest and WANT to see that person grow?? I have seen couples through out my life that are in their latter years in life and still crazy in love.
I.E. when I was 17 I had to have emergency surgery. I don't remember everything about that experience; However, I remember being taken into the hospital (from dad's car) in a wheelchair by this older lanky, but well dressed man. I remember him stopping at the front desk to "check in" and find out what room I needed to go to. He walked in front of me and looked down the hall and blew a kiss. I couldn't see who it was to, but he walked back over and said "that was to the love of my life... my wife". I remember, as much pain as I was in, smiling and thinking "That's so sweet! There's hope!" He went on to tell me that they had been married for 50 some years and he's still crazy about her like when he first met her. {Bam! Myth breaker! haha}
I really don't think that people can write books as if everyone is the same and it's a fact or the only way of life! I'm a little sceptical about reading the rest of this based on what I have read so far... Should I finish it?

Happy Hump Day!!!! Wynsten is getting so big!!!

Self Discipline

Discipline is a word that simply makes people cringe. When it comes to self discipline, it's something that's lacking often in my life, and one of my main struggles when it comes to my faith.

I have found that when I am disciplined in one area of my life, it carries over to many other, completely unrelated aspects of my life. When I take the time to read my Bible in the morning, I am better about what I eat, I'm more careful with my money, and I'm better with my attitude altogether.

The opposite is also true. When I am undisciplined in any area, it also carries over. I wonder why that is. Why my personality is put together the way that it has been. I guess I am simply one of those people where everything is intertwined together.

Disciplining a child is one of the hardest things I have ever done. On its surface, it's not a crazy concept. But there are so many variables involved, and I'm continuing to learn on the job with Noah. I ask myself questions all the time like "Is this really worth fighting over?" "How big of a deal should I make this?" "What is the proper discipline for this action?" And all of these decisions need to be made in such a split second. Such a quick thought. It's hard. Even harder than self-discipline for me.

Not really sure where I was going with this post, other than getting my thoughts out there. If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it. Have a great week!

Triple Threat

Well Its my time again. It is Officailly 11:50 pm on a Saturday night. Here I am home for the first night since Thursday. The Link I have enclosed is Regulators by Warren G. Prolly the first rap song i knew by heart and today it is still a hit. Well i have many topics to discuss tonight so lets just dive right in.



Im going to write this topic in Purple. You might ask why and the reason is Thats the Color for Domestic Violence. Its been an interesting week for me in the sense of this topic. I found out a friend of mine, who happen to also be my Prof. last semester had finally decided to leave her husband because he had been physically, verbally and emotionally abusing her. I felt so bad for her when she finally said something about it. I felt bad because I knew something was up when we first started class and I just couldnt put my finger on it. Something just didnt add up when she was telling us about how life used to be and how she got to where she was. I was conflicted because as a student do i say anything or not? Maybe i should have and maybe i shouldnt have. In the end she made the best descion she could have. She sought help. At first she was weary because she felt like everyone would think bad of her or tell her she should of left sooner. The best you can do is support them in their descions and when they have finally had enough they will make their choice to leave and will need all of the help they can get. She has been surprised at how many women have said " that happened to me too so many years ago". Its so sad to me that women get with the man of their dreams only to find out that they are Docter Jeykal in Mr. Hydes body. My heart does go out to her , but she is a strong woman and i know she will be able to do it for her and her precious little daughter.

This paragraph will be in red. This will be for my other friend this week who also decided enough was enough and told her boyfriend to go after he had been caught again using drugs. Of course some will say , well she should stay for support and to help him. The best help this man can get is to get into a rehad clinic. I dont blame her. We actually had a talk about this guy before she started dating him. He said all the right things and said he had been clean and what not. You get the point. Well she gave him a chance and he screwed it up, she then said ok one more chance and he blew that too.( no pun intended) She is in the process of moving out and i commend her for taking a stand. Enough is enough with both abuse and drug abuse. Not only does she have to worry about herself, but she too has a daughter that she needs to look out for. So i commend her once again for making the right choice and saying" Im better then this" and moving on in her life.

I guess i will go blue with the final paragraph/topic of my triple threat. That is on Monday Highschool Boys Basketball starts. Im beyond excited for 6 am. I know right, your thinking he is nuts. Maybe i am but i also know that some of these kids have put in over 100 hours in the gym this summer and im going to make sure it pays off for them. They are excited and we have high hopes for this years basketball team. We want to be Regional Champs this year and i believe we can do it. We will have the best backcourt in the area and one of the most dominate Big men and he is only a Sophmore.

Finally, I wouldnt be a gamer if i didnt mention that on Tuesday morning at 12:01 am another great game will be for sale. Warning *now, if you have a husband, boyfriend, fiance or just some guy friends you prolly wont hear from them for atleast a week or so *

So that is my Warning for all of you. Who dont play the game. Ill be online for the PS3 and My name is XxDeadlyCamperxX . If you think your Good come and we will just have to find out.

So its been a busy week and to wrap things up or i guess to sum them up. If you or someone you know if in an Abusive relationship, continue to be there friend and encourage them to get out of that kind of relationship. They may hate you at the time, but when they decide for themselves they will need all of the support they can get. So dont give up on them!

Hope everyone has a Great week and I will talk to you all next Saturday.

Charlie

Convictions....& Justin Bieber for Johnny

         I'm supposed to be writing my grocery list this afternoon... but am thinking of everything else I could possibly do other than make the list--and other than dishes. Nix those two, and what is left? Well... I've wasted a few minutes on facebook... watching Craig Ferguson... staring at the snow (yep....SNOW. I know!)... Then I remembered I needed to blog! (Yes, I know it's Friday and Thursday is my day... but Katie blogged yesterday, so I stole today.) Alas.... here I am.

          As Dave previously mentioned, elections were this week. Now, those of you who know me, know I am not one to shy away from sharing my opinions... and I have lots of them. And I'm pretty unapologetic about it, too--besides, I'll listen to your opinion, too! Even if I disagree. Though in the last few years, I have tried to be more graceful and kind about sharing my opinion, and have tried to not share my opinion with people I'm more likely to offend... because my goal really isn't to hurt anyone's feelings, because I don't want to turn anyone off to Jesus. (And I have to admit, the listening to a dissenting opinion is a skill recently acquired :))

             But I digress...back to elections. I used to love to get into conversations with people over politics.... I love to argue politics...politicians... platforms... *ahhh* It makes me happy :) Actually, I just love a good argument. Two people just going back and forth on political issues....*sigh* It takes a real friend (or just a great arguer...) to argue politics and not get offended or want to not be your friend anymore...There's just something about getting your blood flowing...talking fast...using your mind...ya know, fun stuff :) But sorry--that's another tangent (lots of tangents today!! I really do have a point--somewhere).

      So, a few years ago, when I wasn't crazy about a politician or their politics (or really, any leader I wasn't crazy about in general), I would share my not-so-kind opinion about them without any hesitancy. Well, a few years ago (oh, around the time Obama was elected), I found this verse:

Romans 13:1-2" Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves."

            Um....OUCH?? The first part of this verse that kicked me in the behind was the phrase "everyone must submit himself"...Well...it says everyone...so I can't avoid that right off the bat...and must submit himself...to me, that says you CHOOSE to put yourself under their authority... So, this is a choice God is telling us to make. Deep breath. I can do this, right? I mean...humans make mistakes, and politicians, in particular, are elected by people...so I can bedrudgingly obey their laws while hating them and bashing them along the way...

          But here's the thing that really got me and completely changed my thoughts and habits... the Bible verses don't say that God allowed sinful humans to put these authorities into place.... it clearly says GOD ESTABLISHED every authority--and no authority is present that God did not specifically put into place. Another ouch....

         So, how have I changed? Well, I won't always agree with politicians or policies... They may even stand directly against everything I believe in...but I can always agree with God. And I can trust Him. Trust that He has a good reason for establishing each and every leader that is in authority over me--regardless of whether those reasons are clear to me or not.

          Most practically, I can talk respectfully of the leaders that are over me... that I am choosing to submit to...and do it graciously. I think a lot of Christians think that if a leader's beliefs contrast with their own, or they are not a Christian, or are a Democrat, etc., then they are free to speak out against them in any fashion they choose. And sadly, that just isn't true. Sure, we can (respectfully) disagree with their policies and politics, but we can not insult them--regardless.

          It isn't easy for me, especially when a politician pushes for something that makes my blood boil, but it's a matter of discipline and choice--one that I'm reminded of every time the election results come in, and someone I don't like is elected. Now, instead of screaming at the tv (It's like a football game...watching the results come across the screen:)), I can begin praying for them...and it's awfully hard to hate someone you continually pray for.

          So, this week, in the aftermath of the most recent elections, I encourage you all to pay attention to the way you speak (or post on facebook) about our leaders and politicians....and pray for them :) Heap burning ashes on their heads, ya know? ;)
   
           Until next week, then, my friends... I leave you with Justin Bieber....  b/c even though I have never listened to one of his songs all the way through, I am completely in love with the (American?) Music Awards commercial where all of the bikers dance to his song "Baby"....so play on, Biebs...play on. (dedicated to Johnny--feel better quick!!!:))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE-0a6EN2rQ&feature=player_embedded

Ashley

A Sweet Potatoe a Day!

It's kinda gloomy out today! It just got done pouring down rain not too long ago. I was just thinking/wondering where "Fall" went!? I was just going through my closet(s) the other day and got excited when I came across all my cute long sleeve but thin shirts! Hmm... the question is when am I going to be able to wear them!? Next Spring!? It's freezing already. I had to bring all my plants inside (the ones I didn't, have passed away- so sad, I know). I wasn't quite ready for this cold. I feel like it could snow any day and that really has got me saddened!
Sweet Potatoes are my topic today! Random, I know! In the midst of all the "summer cleaning out" I have been doing, I have been putting some thought into my "New Years Resolution(s)". I pulled out my list that I made last year, and to my surprise I did quite well! (minus a few McChickens from McDonalds! haa)
SO one of the things that I am really work towards is eating better! I know... does anyone ever completely accomplish this?! I mean, really? So what I am going to try and do is pick out 10 or 15 (not sure yet) items of food that are really good for you and I'm going to try and incorporate them in my diet. I am going to research them and try and learn new ways to eat/cook them! Sweet potatoes are so good for you! (not to mention delicious!) I *love* sweet potato fries! (not that that's the healthiest form=). I attached a link for you to read about how all the ways sweet potatoes can benefit you!
Well I am off to enjoy the rain! Hope you guys are having a good week!

(I'm posting this late because I was so busy yesterday at work (which is normally where I blog) I planned on blogging at home... but my internet wasn't working at home... booo)

How can you NOT vote?

This is going to be short and sweet. Too many people have fought and died in this country for your right to vote. There are millions of women and minorities that couldn't vote for a very long time, and fought very hard for that right.

I had the honor to vote tonight. I always have a smile on my face when I walk out of the polling place because I view it as a privledge to cast my vote.

There are websites that give you the ability to research every candidate that's on your local ballot. It took me half an hour to research EVERY vote that I cast today. And you know what, I voted for candidates from 3 different political parties. Why? Because they were the best candidate for the position and best reflected the political positions that I identify with.

There is NO excuse for not voting. It is essential to our freedom as Americans. You can't watch the video reactions of Iraqi men and women who are voting in FREE and FAIR elections for the first time, and not go vote.

If you are able to get a polling place, over the age of 18, and don't vote, you cheapen your American citizenship. And that's a shame.

I look forward to your comments and opinions. God Bless America

Dave

Whoa-ness!!!

Hey Y'all!
The past few weeks have flown by! Things have been crazy busy, and sometimes just plain crazy.

Sadly, two of the students in the DTS here decided to go home this past weekend =(. Its been a very rough weekend for the whole base and encouragement was running really low until today. Doubt was spreading like wildfire!! We started praying over the remaining students and just encouraging them as much as possible.

Today, I got to go to the Georgia Dome with David and Jarvis (two of our staff). We helped with a massive event they had there today! The event is called Get Motivated! Bill Cosby and several other awesome speakers were there to give 20 minute speeches. I met some guys there, and as always, they're the boys in rehab =p I think there's just a magnetic force field between me and "rehab" or "disciplinary school" guys! It's not MY fault...
They are actually in a 12 month discipleship program. Its hardcore Christian, which I wasn't all for, since they do force the guys into religion. However, I was so excited and encouraged to hear their testimonies and to hear the way that God has changed them! I wish every Christian had their passion for others. They even said that if we all lived treating others as they were better than us, that the world would be a better place. And it would be!! They really encouraged me, I was so thankful God allowed us to meet, it was awesome!

Next week, we are taking every one on our base to the YWAM Southeast Conference! I am pretty stoked about it! After that, we're staying in Orlando for the YWAM 50th Celebration! We get to meet the founders of YWAM, how awesome!!! I think next week will be really good for our students, and for us staff who don't always get poured into spiritually. What a joy it will be to be surrounded by 600 YWAMers who love and worship the same God that I do =) I'm already planning to be blessed just by the people we are going to meet, and the ones we will be reunited with!

The day after we get back from the Conference, I fly HOME!!!!!!! I am soooooooo excited!!!! I cannot wait to see my mama and my babies! (my dogs, and YES, they are my babies =D) And I'm excited to see the rest of my family and my bestays that I have missed so much! I'm hoping that while I'm home I will get come clarity from God as to what comes next and when it is coming. If I am supposed to stay here, I need God to clarify that and to give me the support I need....emotionally and financially! I've been worn out lately and have cried too many times...yuck!

After next week, I'm going to start writing on topics instead of just givng updates of my life. I love researching and giving my opinion on certain things =) I'm pretty STOKED! Since I wont be writing next week, I hope you guys have a great couple of weeks!

--Hann

Keep Thy Tongue From Evil!

What are your thoughts on the N-word and other slurs? Better yet what are God's thoughts on slurs. I am not going to take a historical look at slurs or there "alternative" uses in the American pop-culture scene. What I am going to do is speak from my heart. I am going to make myself vulnerable, because this is an issue that has bruised my heart more than once. May I speak not out of bitterness, but out of love and an earnestness for the truth to be made known. I love you Jesus, my Lord. 

I quite recently had an emotional experience with the N-word. This was not the first time I have left crying after I futilely tried to keep my wits about me all the while make the case against the N-word. You may ask why I would be so emotional about a collection of letters. A fair question, I think. Well I don't hate the N-word as much as I hate what surrounds it: hate, ignorance, and arrogance, to name a few.

The hate component comes from white on black only but rather is color blind to some extent. Lest you think I am being politically correct, you should know that the few times I have been called a n***** have been by black people. The people who use those words are sometimes ignorant about the vile and abusive histories they stem from. The arrogance, often coupled with insensitivity, says that I can use these words at my liking no matter the company or the sensitivities of those around me. White people in particular have been bullied into silence about the issues of racial slurs, especially the N-word. Well I say speak out! As Christians we have the right and the duty to make Christ's voice heard on these issues!

We should not stop with slurs only, rather we, myself included, should get rid of all comments that hurt others . Let's pray for each other as we try to keep our tongues from evil this week.

Proverbs 16:24Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Random

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s&ob=av3e

Well Hopefully this linked worked. Right now it's just how I am feeling and yes there is Strong Language in this Link, so I apologize and if your offeneded I am also sorry for that. Also just because this song is written by Eminem doesn't mean that I support anything he has done in the past or what he will do in the Future. I just feel this song right now.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way I'll continue on with my blog. This week has just been blah. The reason the topic is Random is because thats what this blog is going to be about. Just random thoughts that have passed thru my head today and the last few days as I have struggled with being sick and coming to the reality that I had to Withdraw from my bio 121 class again....

So for starters I wont be blogging about private school tonight. Its been a topic of the last 3 readings that I had to read for my LAS 189 class. It has also been a sub topic on a blog already and I have way to much to say about the issue for tonight and also while taking Nyquil. I will address it in the future and I will also post the articles that I had to read so you readers will know what i based my opinions on as well as attending private school for 3 years.

So I guess the first thoughts of the week as I realised that I would be dropping my bio 121 class, was " well what if I cant pass this class? " I have never had a class that I had to drop before. This was its been twice. Wouldnt be such a big deal but I need this class to get into the Nursing program that I want to get in. By not having this class, it pretty much means I dont have a chance to get into the program. That has been my goal the past 2 years. Thats all I have wanted to do, it is what has kept me going when there was nothing else to do that. Im sure I will be fine when it is all said and done, but I cant think of not becoming a nurse and working with those who have cancer and their families who want all the answers.

With coming to the realization I also had to come to the realization that maybe God doesn't want me to become a nurse. Now before everyone gets on their horses about how God can bless us in anything we do, I know this. I also know that sometimes God has a specific calling on each of our lives and sure I know for a fact that I would be the best nurse possible, but what if , just maybe God is saying" Thats not what I want you to do". Now comes the part where I have struggled with since forever. Some of you maybe asking why and well since I was born I have been told that I have had a calling for my life. I never thought much of it because I figured that every child did. God has plans for us all and so I never thought that I was any different. So when my mother always told me that God had bigger things for me, I didnt care. I always wanted to be a Police Officer and that was my goal. That was my goal up until Someca passed away and I knew then that I was going into Nursing to work with those who needed not only help, but a voice. For 3 months I lived in a hospital with Someca and I saw many people who didnt have a voice. No one to stand up for them and to get them help when they lay in their beds with the button pushed for more then 45 mins and no one had yet to come to see what they needed. It tore me up and some of the time I would go into their rooms to see what they needed, just so they knew that someone cared.

I guess that was a side story, now back to the point about doing things for God. I never wanted to hear that from anyone. I knew that as long as I was following God I could do what I wanted and still show people and teach them about God. Which you can. Im not saying because your not in "ministry" that you cant do that. Im just saying in my life I have been told that isnt going to be the case. I was always told " Remember, you know what happened to Jonah" as in he didnt listen to God and a Big Fish got ahold of him and that was that. A few days later he was back on the road to where he was going. Yeah I dont want to be Jonah, plus living here in IL i dont think it would be a Big Fish, but more like a Tornado and then only God would truly know where I would end up.

Here is even more proof or another instance where I know what I am suppose to be doing, but for some reason I cant just say " Ok God, Im ready now" Back in 11th grade, it was a Wedesday morning at Judah Christian School. Wedesday was our Chapel day. Today was going to be different from any other as we had 3 ladies from over by Danville, I believe, who had come over to speak to us. 3 months prior they got a list of each name of every student in the highschool and jr. high. They didnt know who we were, they just had a list of names. As chapel started they began to say what God had told them. There were names that had stood out and there were names that didnt so much stand out. I was praying I was in the Group of those who didnt stand out because I knew in my heart what was going to be said. So they began and the first name that was called was.....ME. Thats right I was the first student whos name was called and I was like oh lord he were go again. I bet I can tell them what they are going to say. Not only did they call my name but I had to stand up for all to see. Wasnt a bad thing, most people knew who I was as I had another sister in highschool and one in the jr high at the time. As I stood and listened I heard them say the same thing that my mother had told me. Not word for word the same, but pretty much the same thing.

They all 3 had seen my name stand out and I was told that in life as I would be walking down the streets I would come apon someone who needed help, didnt matter what kind of help they needed but I was there to meet their need. Ok I was thinking, thats what a Police Officer does, They continued, as you reach each person you move down the road and see someone else who is suffering and you stop to help them. This continues on as there are lots and lots of people who need your help. While you are walking and are helping more people, you stop to look behind you and you notice that everyone you have helped is now following you and watching you as you help and meet the needs of those you encouter. I was told it was thousands of people.

I knew then that I wasnt going to be a policeman, but I couldnt give up that dream. Just like now I hate the thought of giving up the dream of becoming a nurse. I know it might be what I need to do but I just cant. Sure some of you are thinking, "wow you have been called by God to not only help those who are hurting but to Preach to the world, whats the hold up?" The hold up is me clearly. Why? Im not entirly sure. At first I didnt think it would be that exciting. I mean going from carrying a gun, handcuffs, chasing people etc to carrying my bible and preaching on Sunday? That doesnt sound very exciting to me.

So now becomes the wrestling time in my Life. I know what has happened with those who have wrestled with God, they lost...but they were better off for listening to God then not listening to God. So I am at a crossroads in life right now. Also another side note is that my finicial aid has run out at Parkland College and so if I am to continue there, its all out of pocket mainly, unless I get scholarships. I have made a deal with God, but if I tell you guys what that deal was, then you could help out God and well I want God to do this.

Wow that was alot, cant believe I actually typed out what was actually going on inside my head. For so long ive "faked it , til you make it" that it has become hard to open up and to say how i truly feel about somethings. I know that comes as a shock to some of you since I dont hold back much.

The other thing I was going to talk about in this blog was Who am I? Thats some thing that has got me thinking this past week as well. I thought I knew who I was and I still have a good idea, but I also know that I am not the same person I was 6 yrs ago as I am today. Ever since Someca passed away I have been stuck in a rut. I cant seem to find my place back here in Champaign, IL. Sure I have friends , but its just not the same. Most of my friends that I had before going to CA, now are married and have kids. Most are in bed by 9pm. I dont know how to re-adjust to living here. Yeah it has been almost 2 years and I have actually been out maybe 10 times total. I almost feel like I am divorced and have no friends. Its just hard to be 31 and seem like I have yet to do anything in life. I wonder what keeps me single as well? I mean sure if i could count all the women who are married, engaged, taken etc that think Im a great guy , but the catch is they are TAKEN. Apparently I can only get the TAKEN ones lol I think its because I am "safe" No one has to worry about Charlie Miller doing anything bad so we can hang out with him. As for all of those of you women who are single, all I know is that someday I am going to be the best Friend, Husband, Lover, Father that some lucky woman is going to have and well then the rest of you will just be left to think, what if .....

Well in closing, I have discussed alot of things, well really only 2 things but it seemed to be alot of writting, so if you have made it this far I congradulate you. I hope you all have a great week and remember to have a Fun and Safe Halloween!

Charlie

" But the children love the books!"...

Will Ferrell is on David Letterman, and that's my favorite quote from Elf (poor little nun)... so there you have it.

I actually am going to talk about Halloween, since it's this weekend. I read an interesting quote (and by "read", I mean, I totally stole it from someone who actually read the article...) from Christianity Today:

         "If we give up All Hallows Eve, we lose the delight of God's gift of imagination and we condemn the rest of society to a darker Halloween because our laughter will not be there to make the devil run."

Okay, so because I just couldn't put up a quote or link from an article I hadn't read (Just to be safe, ya know), I went back and read it. To give you a feel for it, here are a few more quotes that stuck out to me....:

" 'It's Satan's Holiday, Dr. Rearick [the author],' affirmed one of my students. 'Didn't you know?'

         Well, no, I didn't know. And I am reluctant to give up what was one of the highlights of my childhood calendar to the Great Impostor and Chief of Liars for no reason except that some of his servants claim it as his."

"For our pagan ancestors, the holidays that marked the great seasonal changes were often fearful, terrible, and dark. But with the coming of Christ came a great light that reclaimed not only individuals but also the holidays they celebrated. In the case of Midvinterblot and Yule, the holidays that once marked the terrible price required to provide light instead began to express the joyous arrival of God's true light."


(Here is a link to the entire article: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2000/october2/29.79.html?start=1 )


I grew up in a family where we were allowed to put on fun, innocent costumes, and go trick-or-treating in the neighborhood where our mom grew up (ie. my parents knew the people in just about every house). Then we would go home, sort our candy, throw out the apples, etc. There was no spiritual discussion involved... it was just a fun day. Innocent and fun.


On the other hand, I went to a private school, where, I think it's safe to say, the majority of kids had been taught the view that Halloween was dangerous and evil. I still remember being so surprised in 2nd grade (my first year in private school) that we didn't even discuss Halloween, much less celebrate it with a *gasp* costume parade. In high school, the same view was taken towards sex, but that's another blog...


Anyways, I can honestly say this is the first article I have ever read by a professed Christian that actually "promoted" Halloween, and the boldness we can/should have as Christians. I liked it.


Sure, I realize, not everyone is going to see it this way, and people probably won't agree with me, but I like the idea of passing something that I enjoyed so much as a kid onto Noah (who, btw, is going as Thomas the Tank Engine this year... though he tells everyone he's going to be a tiger--which is actually what *Bryce* is going to be... kid gets confused, what can I tell ya? He is his mother's child, after all. And Chaney is going as a pink cat! As which she will be adorable :)). And I don't feel the need to add anything else to it... it can just be a fun night of innocence where he goes with his friends (and very attentive parents, mind you, who will responsibly analyze each of the 2 pieces of candy he will be allowed to eat Sat. night....lol. Actually, that's pretty much exactly what it's going to look like) up to the homes of strangers to ask them for food :)


So what do you think?...Halloween evil? Something that can be innocent fun?  Lemme know :)


Music of the day.... my guilty pleasure... Aerosmith. (Seriously, can anyone scream better than Steven Tyler?? Is anyone's MOUTH bigger!??!?!? no, actually, mine is not)


Goodnight, friends :)


PS. Just noticed the excessive use of parentheses.... (my apologies)